random thoughts


Random  thoughts stolen from other smarter, more creative people, who don’t know how to use copy write protection, apparently.

 

1.Life isn’t like a box of chocolates, it’s more like a jar of

jalapenos, you never know what’s going to burn your ass.

 

2.Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

 

3.Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the

first time, chances are you won’t be needing him again.

 

4.I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

 

5.Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I

thought to myself, where the fuck is the ceiling?

 

6.My reality check bounced.

 

7.Everyone is someone else’s weirdo.

 

8.Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then

beat you with experience.

 

9.A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the

butt.

 

10.After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the

month than you did before.

 

11.The more Shit you put up with, the more Shit you are going to get.

 

12.Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never

cease to be amused.

 

13.Men have two emotions:

Hungry and Horny. If you see him without a boner, make him a

sandwich!

 

14.How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine?

It’s the one with bite marks on the cap.

 

15.No matter how fine you think a chick is, somewhere there is someone

who is tired of her crap.

 

16.  Life is like a shit sandwich.  The more bread you have, the less shit you

to eat.

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